Healing is a Winding Road


As I pen this blog on writing to heal, a Sheryl Crow song called Every Day is a Winding Road keeps echoing in my mind:

Everyday is a winding road

I get a little bit closer

Everyday is a faded sign

I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

The healing journey is indeed a winding road. There are blind spots, sharp turns that are both liberating and terrifying—as well as no shortage of signs showing where you are and where you’re destined to go. And sometimes, you find yourself driving in circles.

How many times have you circled back around the same issue over and over again? If you’re like me, you’ve done this more than you’d care to admit. For me, personal boundaries are a challenge I’ve revisited A LOT, especially in my intimate relationships.

I often lean towards the overgiving, overfunctioning side of the give-and-take scale. Although I continue to build stronger boundaries, I still find myself exhausted and disoriented at times. I’ve been known to overextend myself with partners, underinvest in myself, and struggle to carve out personal time to reenergize.

I never would have healed my boundary issues enough to attract a fulfilling relationship were it not for my ability to trust that this relationship was waiting for me. Before I met my current partner, I affirmed to myself that I was completely deserving of love: love that was mutual, nurturing, and strong enough to hold my weaknesses and vulnerabilities—including my challenges with boundaries. Then, I released all expectations of how or when I would meet the right partner. I surrendered to the fact that the person for me was out there, ready to come at the right time, in the right way. And, he did.

Actually, my partner and I are actively healing through similar patterns of overgiving and under-receiving together. We inspire each other to have complete faith that we’re worthy of what we want and need in our businesses, family, and personal lives. And with empathy and love, we encourage each other to ask for—and truly receive—what we deserve.

What issues do you tend to come up against repeatedly on your healing journey?

Whatever your answer may be, some aspects of healing need more time and attention than you expect. It takes practice to stop beating yourself up about this. Returning to old patterns and pain points again and again challenges you to build trust in your own healing process. You never know how or when healing will come, but when you trust that you deserve it and that you will heal, you do.

To help you build your trust in your own healing process, especially when you find yourself chasing your tail—try this simple writing exercise:

Carve out 10 minutes to write freely on the following prompt:

Describe a stubborn thought, feeling, or behavioral pattern that is particularly frustrating right now.

Once you feel you’ve described the gist of the issue, write I deserve and trust in my own healing. Feel free to modify this statement so it resonates with you. Then, take a few moments to breathe deeply and let your statement sink in.

When you notice a frustrating issue resurfacing, take a breath, repeat that line to yourself, and see what changes. You may notice that you feel more space opening up around the thought, feeling, or behavior that’s challenging you, which frees you to discover more effective ways of working through it.

Do you long to put an end to wounded thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that stop you from thriving? Schedule a complimentary 45-minute consult with me today.