Healing is a Winding Road


As I pen this blog on writing to heal, a Sheryl Crow song called Every Day is a Winding Road keeps echoing in my mind:

Everyday is a winding road

I get a little bit closer

Everyday is a faded sign

I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

The healing journey is indeed a winding road. There are blind spots, sharp turns that are both liberating and terrifying—as well as no shortage of signs showing where you are and where you’re destined to go.

And sometimes, you find yourself driving in circles. But this is also part of the journey.

How many times have you said to yourself, I thought I was over this!? If you’re like me, you’ve done this more than you’d care to admit.

I tend to say I thought I was over this! the most when dealing with my personal boundaries. Boundaries are an issue I’ve revisited over and over again, especially in my intimate relationships.

I’m on the overgiving, overfunctioning side of the give-and-take scale. Although I continue to build stronger boundaries, I still find myself exhausted and disoriented at times. I overspend on my family, underinvest in myself, and struggle to carve out personal time to reenergize.

What issues do you tend to come up against repeatedly on your healing journey?

Whatever your answer may be, it’s clear that some aspects of healing need more time and attention than you expect. It takes practice to stop beating yourself up about this.  

Returning to old patterns and pain points again and again challenges you to build trust in your own healing process.

For example, I never would have healed my boundary issues enough to attract a fulfilling relationship were it not for my ability to trust that this relationship was waiting for me.

Before I met my boyfriend, I defined and affirmed to myself that I was completely deserving of love: love that was mutual, nurturing, and strong enough to hold my weaknesses and vulnerabilities—including my boundary issues.

Then, I released all expectations of how or when I would meet the right partner. I surrendered to the fact that the person for me was out there, ready to come at the right time, in the right way. And, he did.

Actually, my partner and I are actively healing through similar patterns of overgiving and under-receiving together. We encourage each other to have complete faith in what we want and need in our businesses, family, and personal lives. And when one of us settles for less than we deserve, we call the other on it with empathy and love.

You never know how or when healing will come, but when you trust that you deserve it and that you will heal, you do.

To help you build your trust in your own healing process, especially when you find yourself chasing your tail—try this simple writing exercise:

Carve out 10 minutes to write freely on the following prompt:

I thought I was over __.  Describe a stubborn thought, feeling, or behavioral pattern that is particularly frustrating right now.

Once you feel you’ve described the gist of the issue, write I deserve and trust in my own healing. Feel free to modify this statement so it resonates with you. The point is to sincerely affirm that you can and will heal in your own way and in your own time.  

When you notice this frustrating issue resurfacing, repeat that line to yourself and see what changes. You may notice that you feel more space opening up around the thought, feeling, or behavior, which frees you to discover more effective ways of working through it.

Do you long to put an end to wounded thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that stop you from thriving? Schedule a complimentary 45-minute consult with me today.