Finding Strength in Rejection
If you’ve been following my blog, you’d know I recently submitted the most important essay I’ve yet to write to six different platforms. My heart throbbed with a combination of fear and pride with each submission. This is the kind of essay that could make me a walking target for hate speech, misunderstanding, and worst of all, rejection. Yet, its message is medicine and my voice rings true through every syllable. This piece is an offering of healing, and submitting it alone is worth celebrating.
For weeks post-submission, I wondered how I could accept the turbulence of my feelings and simply offer my work for the highest good.
How could I hit submit with faith in myself and my creation, knowing there could be a no around the corner?
Until now, there are only a handful of people who know this about me… Every day, I dream of the day my work earns me a place on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday. I fantasize about the big break that will turn my small Phoenix-based platform into a world stage where I can facilitate healing and transformation in millions of people. The dream is so real I can taste it. And yet, I know I can’t control whether it comes true. My future, like everyone else’s, is nothing if not unpredictable and uncertain.
It is a moment by moment practice to gently catch myself in my Oprah fantasy and bring my attention back to the present moment. Here and now, the question is not, will I make it on SuperSoul Sunday? Rather, it’s how am I choosing to love?* How can I commit to my writing as an expression of love, no matter what the outcome?
When love is a focus, there is no rejection.
We will all be told “no.” People can still choose not to accept us, approve of us, like us, or love us. We might still feel unseen, unheard, worthless, and unlovable when doors close on us. Yet, when we intend to bring love into each moment, every no becomes an invitation to say yes to ourselves. Every time we choose to say yes to ourselves, any external rejection—however much it hurts—becomes no more real than a fading dream.
In the face of rejection, I invite every one of us to say yes to being OK with not being OK.
Yes to giving ourselves the time and space to grieve a missed opportunity.
Yes to self-care.
Yes to giving and receiving support.
Yes to better possibilities and solutions.
Yes to trusting that our lives are far bigger than the pain of hearing “no.”
In case you’re wondering, four of the six outlets I submitted my essay to rejected it. Two didn’t respond. And I’m surprised to admit that I bounced back within hours of each rejection. My goal now is to work with my partner, a multiple award-winning artist, to transform my essay into a video project. The experience that inspired the essay is one we shared, and the alchemy of love and creativity we create together will far surpass the healing power of words on a screen. Stay tuned!
Have you experienced rejection recently that feels particularly hard to shake? Are you resisting writing or sharing your work in a bigger way for fear of hearing “no?” I’d love to walk with you from fear to faith, help you hone your writing, and more—so you can realize your true message. Schedule a complimentary 45-minute consultation today.
*Big thank you to friend and mentor, Amanda Petersen, for teaching me about the power of this critical question. Amanda is a gifted soul-centered Phoenix life coach, spiritual director, and entrepreneur. Learn more about her at PathwaysofGrace.com.